Soy Salsera

Recently, I've taken up salsa dancing as a hobby. I love the combination of exercise, music, and a fun way to meet new people. It's actually kind of funny. Once the song starts someone will ask you to dance, and then afterward (especially if you danced well together), the two of you will introduce yourselves and ta-da! You're now salsa friends forever! The interaction sounds backwards, but in the moment it makes total sense. Of course, the "someone" that I am talking about asking me to dance is a man, which throws another social facet into the mix. Some guys ask me to dance and obviously are focused on the fun aspect of salsa. Others give me the up-down and make their version of a sexy-face at me whenever I make eye contact. And then there are the ones that I just can't dance with very well, be it due to my lack of experience, a sore foot, or their lack of skills. Those guys exchange awkward glances with me and then we avoid each other for the rest of the night.

So far, three categories is pretty simple, but that second set really encompasses a few varieties. For example, the other night I danced with a guy who would put his hand across his heart whenever he wasn't leading me with it. Now was that just a styling choice or was he flirting with me? Since he asked me to dance twice, he could have been flirting, but then again a little flirting is almost necessary when you dance salsa, so maybe it was nothing. Another man that I enjoy dancing with tends to pull me into a lot of close positions, where his arms are around me or I'm leaning on him. Not knowing how he dances with other girls, I can't assume that he doesn't do that with everyone, but I can assume that he sure doesn't mind having his arms around me, so now what?

Now, I tell you the truth: It just doesn't matter. Well, at least in salsa. Salsa is by nature a flirtatious dance, so flirting on the dance floor is normal and encouraged. The men who are the most fun are the ones who really get into character--the ones who look the girl over and make her feel attractive. The girls that all the guys want to dance with are the ones who not only follow well, but who move seductively so the men feel like they have a chance in hell with that girl (even when they really don't). Since it all ends with the song, there are no expectations between the two people, except perhaps another dance later on.

This constant flirtation has taught me so much about not taking myself too seriously. I mean, how could I when a short little 70-year-old man puts on his best sexy-face and pulls me into a cuddle? I've learned to feel comfortable enough to just go with it and enjoy the dance.